At the beginning of December 2019, a very close family member passed away. She was very special to me and I miss her.

Living with Cancer for a very long time, she was ONE VERY STRONG WILLED WOMAN!! And was always one of my Idols.

It has been nearly a month now since she passed through the gates of heaven and I miss her dearly. It’s the denial of thinking she hasn’t really gone and that this hasn’t actually happened.

Going back in the past; she was the one who taught me how to Crochet. Miraculously I somehow how learned within one day and for me that’s amazing since I’m such a slower learner. She said I was the fastest learner she had ever taught. I felt very happy in that instant. I am now 21 and have been Crocheting for neatly 10 years I think, and I am so grateful she took the time to teach me when I went wrong on the stitching and how to do patterns. She gave me scrap pieces of yarn and wool to practise on.

I have my good and bad days. This was one of the more difficult ones. I have completely lost focus of University work. Everyday seems like a blur at the moment. My dissertation is due in this year amongst other assignments, but I am struggling every day with the University work to prepare and do. I know people who pass you will say it’ll get easier, but everyone is very different and it may take longer than others…I don’t know.

After her passing, something changed in me that day during the funeral. Some part of me broke inside, some of my heart…left. I don’t think I will ever be the same as I once was.

Writing this blog has been extremely hard for me to do, little words have been spoken, but I hope I guess its just about expressing my feelings and telling people how much I admired and loved her. She was too young to be taken away from us and had still so much spirit…if you ever knew her, you’d know.